A Retort

Sound the Horn

Hockey Night at TBL: Meet an American Hockey Player

To cap off Hockey Night at TBL, I introduce you, dear readers, to a new feature which will run almost daily for the next month: Meet an American Hockey Player.  In the month leading up to the Winter Olympics opening ceremony on February 22, I will introduce you to each member of the 23-man Team USA hockey team.  Because if TBL doesn't give these unheralded youngsters their day in the sun, who will?  Plus, you never know—maybe these kids will do something unexpected.   And you wouldn't want to miss that.  Now, our inaugural Team USA member:  Captain America David Backes. 

Name:  David Backes (#42)

Essentials: Right Wing, St. Louis Blues; 25 years old;  6'3" 216 lbs;    Hometown: Blaine, Minnesota; thoughtful husband

Background: To be honest, Backes doesn't have the most inspiring career.  He's basically your run-of-the-mill American hockey player.  He starred in Minnesota high school hockey, had a brief stop in the USHL (where he was drafted 62nd overall by the St. Louis Blues in 2003), played in college (for the Minnesota State Mavericks), and finally got called up to the big show after a momentary stay in the AHL.  He racked up moderate scoring numbers and impressive penalty totals, and was basically like every American player not on the national team.  Last season—his third in the NHL—Backes burst through with 31 goals, and through the first half of this season, he's third on the lowly Blues with 25 points.  Backes, like so many Americans before him, looks headed to a long career as a good, but not great, power forward.  He provides grit and some scoring; but he's never going to be the guy you can build an offense around.  Basically Ryan Malone without the 'Burgh in his blood.

Why he should be your favorite Team USA member: Backes isn't exactly the most talented member of the U.S. team, but he embodies the style of play that America needs to adopt if it's going to be successful in the Olympics.  He loves playing for America and he's earned a reputation as a hard worker.  And he should unequivocally be your favorite Team USA player.  Because he is a supreme bad ass.  Since the American roster was announced on New Year's Day, Backes has taken it upon himself to beat Team Canada into submission.  He has, you could say, pummeled his way into my heart.  In the two weeks that he has been an official member of the U.S. team, Backes has picked fights with three Canadian Olympians:  He pounded Jonathan Toews and Corey Perry, and unfortunately met his match in Rick Nash.  Apparently Toews threw up (twice) in the penalty box following their fight.  And it's not like Backes makes a living out of this—he had only fought once all year before his intracontinental rampage.  If it weren't for his Canadian-beating ways, I'd be lukewarm on Backes's membership on the team—I'm not sure he's as helpful as, say, Bill Guerin would be.  But so long as he keeps this up, Backes can play on the first line for all I care.  With all due respect to Jamie Langenbrunner, here is the real Team USA captain.  Let's only hope he can get one of the canucks to drop gloves with him on the international stage.

Why he shouldn't:  He took Mike Modano's spot.  And Bill Guerin would probably fight two Canadians at once to get a spot on the team.  Plus he's not exactly "skilled"—which may matter a lot in the international game.

What to watch for in the Olympics:  Well, obviously whether he can get a Canadian to fight him.  But also how he gets along with teammate Ryan Kesler.  Kesler has not always had the kindest words for Backes and his family.  I really hope head coach Ron Wilson pairs these two together at some point. 

And something for the ladies:  Backes isn't all fists; he appears to have quite the sensitive side.  He even delivers puppies.

So that's David Backes, America's faithful defender.  Next on tap, "real" Team USA captain Jamie Langenbrunner. 

Hockey Night at TBL: The Great Divide

Hockey Night at TBL marches on, albeit depressingly.  Up next: The US learns how the rest of North America usually feels. 

I know the U.S. hockey team doesn't stand a chance at the Olympics.  I know it pales in comparison to Team Canada.  I know the Americans will be lucky to get even a bronze medal or a meaningless preliminary round victory over the Canadians.  I know all that.  But does it have to be so depressing to see on paper?

Here's the thing:  Team USA is not good.  And to make matters worse:  rival Canada is completely (if predictably) stacked.  The difference between the two teams is staggering.  And it reinforces just how far U.S. hockey has to go until it can be elite again at the international level. 

First, Let's compare some numbers.  We'll start with the teams' forwards:

These tables show the current NHL stats for Team USA's and Canada's respective forwards.  It doesn't take Mike Milbury to see the difference.  Collectively, Canada has scored 66 more goals and tallied 116 more points than the United States—or about 5 goals and 9 points per player.  They're also +27 better (a 63% increase over USA's +43).  Canada has only one player with less than 30 points: Brendan Morrow with 27 (and he's not on the team to score anyway).  USA has 5.  Canada has 6 of the NHL's top-20 scorers—and they left four more off the roster (Brad Richards, Marty St. Louis, Steven Stamkos, and Nathan Horton).  USA has two—they didn't leave any off.  Ten of the thirteen Canadians are either first or second in scoring on their NHL teams (all but Marleau, Morrow, and Toews).  Four Americans are (Kane, Kesler, Langenbrunner, and Parise).  But it only gets worse . . .

Hockey Night at TBL: Matt Bradley is Nobody's Hero

Time to initiate the Buck List rebirth the way any American would—with a whole bunch of hockey.  Mom and Pop left me the keys to the Buck List, and I am officially declaring Hockey Night at TBL, our readers be damned.  Up first, Matt Bradley is a bum.

Matt Bradley has somehow made himself a Washington Capitals cult hero by interrupting a would-be fight between Steve "Call me Colby Armstong" Downie and some guy named Ovechkin.  But I don't care who Bradley thought he was protecting, he's nobody's hero.

Here's the story:  In the third period of Wednesday's Captials-Lightning game, Alex Ovechkin and Lightning forward Steve Downie emerged from the penalty box at the same time following coincidental roughing penalties (sparked by a potentially dirty hit by Ovechkin).   After exchanging a few words, it was clear the two weren't done with each other, and they dropped their gloves and discarded their helmets to throw down the gentlemanly way.  But that's when Capitals' worthless spare part pest Matt Bradley came flying in to intercept (and nearly blindside) Downie.  In other words Bradley stole Ovechkin's fight (video after the jump).

Since Marty McSorley made star protection famous by watching Wayne Gretzky's back for a decade, fans expect teams to provide bodyguards for players as talented as Ovechkin.  So I get it.  Bradley's a hero because he kept Ovechkin's Adonis face in order and his $90 million stick on the ice.  Sure Alex looked eager to fight, but thanks to Bradley, the two-time MVP got to play it safe.

But that's not what "protection" is.  Stars are protected from opponents taking liberty with them; enforcers are around to make sure the Steve Downies of the league don't take cheap shots, rough up, or goad a player like Ovheckin when he's just trying to go about his everyday business.  But enforcers aren't paid to keep Ovechkin—or Crosby, Gretzky, Lemiuex, whomever—from making dumb choices.  Simply: Ovechkin is a grown man (a rather large grown man at 6'2" 212 lbs), a professional hockey player, and Matt Bradley's team captain—if he wants to fight, then he gets to fight.

Moms may not like it, and fans of other sports may not quite understand, but that's just the way hockey works.  A lot goes on between players on the ice, and eventually they may choose to take a stand.  Even the stars with bodyguards.  Gretzky fought.  Lemieux fought.  We know Howe fought.  Crosby's fought several times.  Even  famously passive stars fight: Joe Sakic, Steve Yzerman, Henrik Zetterberg, and Jonathan Toews just to name a few.  These and any number of other superstars have fought over the years—and their teammates let them.  Ovechkin?  He, well, hasn't quite.

No one says Ovechkin has to fight.  If he chooses to avoid fights—if he skates away from conflicts and goes about his business—fine.  Indeed there's a very simple way for Ovechkin to stay out of fights: don't start them.  But if he decides he's had enough and he wants to stick up for himself, then (like every other hockey player) he should get to.  Maybe Ovechkin didn't really want to fight Downie; maybe he was perfectly happy to have Bradley cut in.  But for now, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.  And the next time he drops his gloves (first) and throws off his helmet (first) and chooses to take a stand (in a controversy he started), let's just hope Matt Bradley isn't around to come to the rescue of someone who needs no saving.

After the jump, video of the fight and why Matt Bradley should be suspended.

An Apology

As our four (three?) loyal readers have carefully pointed out, we at The Buck List have been a bit absent lately.  All right, so we haven't posted in two weeks.  While not an excuse, we have a perfectly good explanation:  We were working with LaDainian Tomlinson to bring you America's newest dance craze.*  Please accept out sincere apologies—and LT's new dance as an olive branch.  And please accept our pledge to get back on the horse over the next week.**

* Okay, we weren't working on anything.  This is a video Nike filmed over two years ago and released this weekend.

** I have not spoken a word of this pledge to 2/3 of The Buck List.  But surely they're good for it, right?