The Buck List: The Lady Tigers Fight Back

We owe you, our four readers, an apology.  The Buck List was a few days late this week.  We aren't going to waste your time with apologies or explanations.  Instead, we solemnly promise that such tardiness will not happen again.  To make up for it, we would like to introduce you to our dear friend Sumo Dawg.  And now, the Buck List. . . 

5. Pat Patriot.  Robert Sormanti, one of the men who plays Patriots mascot Pat Patriot on Sundays, was arrested in Rhode Island this weekend in connection with a large scale prostitution sting.  The Rhode Island state police placed an ad on craigslist that apparently attracted Pat Patriot (and several other men) to a local hotel room, where they were arrested "once a fee for a sexual act was offered."  We're absolutely shocked that someone connected to the Patriots would ever break a law like this.  No news yet on whether Bill Belichik surreptitiously filmed Pat Patriot's private matter for his own personal collection. 

4.  The Montreal Canadiens.  The Canadiens became the latest victims of the NHL's newest and worst rule last Thursday.  The rule changes the point at which a play officially ends from the sound of the referee's whistle to instead when the referee intended to blow that whistle.  Namely it halts play in front of the net when a referee first thinks that the puck has been covered by the goalie, rather than when his whistle sounds to signal that fact to all mortal humans.  (Don't even try to wrap your mind around the change.  It's nonsensical.)  The result, as you might imagine, has been to disallow a handful of goals that were scored before the whistle blew (and while everyone was still playing) but after the referee apparently decided to end the action.

On Thursday, the rule robbed the Canadiens of a third-period game-tying goal which they clearly scored against the Penguins (video blelow).  The Canadiens' goal is the rule's worst casualty yet, both because the puck was clearly visible and the play should never have been stopped in the first place and because it prevented the Habs from tying a game which they ultimately lost by one goal.  For Montreal's (and the NHL's) sake, at least it is only December and there's a fair chance the call won't actually affect the Eastern Conference standings.  But even in December, losing a game that you rightfully tied is no easy pill to swallow.  You don't have to take that from us—this kid is more than willing to tell you how he feels about the situation.  Poor child; a clearer expression of what it's like to be Buck Listed may have never been uttered.  (Fair warning: not for those with sensitive ears.)

3. The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.  The Angels have won five of the last six division titles, but their stretch of AL West dominance could be in serious trouble. In the past week, the Angels have lost two of their most important players to free agency.  Longtime ace John Lackey decided to join the dark side and sign a five year deal with the Boston Red Sox.  Speedy third baseman Chone Figgins agreed to terms with division rival Seattle.  Meanwhile, Seattle also acquired former Cy Young award winner Cliff Lee this week in a blockbuster trade with Philadelphia and Toronto.  Lee will join Felix Hernandez at the top of the Mariners rotation to form the best starting pitching duo in baseball.  Figgins and Ichiro Suzuki will wreak havoc with their speed and high on base percentages at the top of the Seattle lineup.  And all this improvement in Seattle comes as the Angels have taken significant steps backwards.  On the bright side for Halos fans, the Angels did sign World Series MVP Hideki Matsui and his beautiful wife. 

2. Trevor Ariza.  Ariza is off to a fantastic (and surprising) start this season.  But let's just say Sunday wasn't Trevor's best day.  Down 19 points to the Raptors, shooting 0-9 with 1 total point late in the third quarter, and looking forward to a night stuck in Canada, Ariza was a bit on edge.  So when he fumbled the ball to Raptors rookie DeMar DeRozan for his fourth turnover the game, Ariza didn't exactly respond in the most sporting fashion.  No, instead he momentarily lost his mind.  As DeRozan ran down court, Ariza spun around and tried maliciously to elbow the rookie in the back of the head.  Except he completely whiffed and made a right fool of himself. (video below)

But Ariza's failed swipe didn't go unnoticed.  Jarrett Jack ran over to fight Ariza, who put on his best tough guy act while carefully backing away from Jack.  Ariza was then promptly ejected from the game and booed out of the arena.  On Monday he was suspended for the whole ordeal.  All in all, not the finest way to make a bid for your first all star game.  Then again, what else can we expect from someone with so much thug passion? 

1. Justin Short.  Short is a cheerleader for the women's basketball team at the University of Missouri, and that is just the beginning of the embarrassment for this poor fellow.  This week, two Missouri women's basketball players, Amanda Hanneman and Jesra Johnson, were arrested for assaulting Short.  There are conficting reports about what exactly went down here.  Apparently, Short was annoyed that his female rommate and her friends were making too much noise.  In an attempt to quiet down the ladies, Short "physically restrained" his roommate.  At this point, Hanneman and Johnson stepped in and went to town on Short's face.  When the battle of the sexes came to an end, Short found himself with a broken nose, a black eye, and a dislocated shoulder.  And lets not forget: Short will have to jump up and down on the baseline for the rest of the season to cheer on his two assailants, who just happen to be Missouri's two leading scorers.  To channel the great Michael Irvin, Justin Short just got JACKED UP.

Others receiving votes.  The Miami Heat: On Sunday night, Rudy Gay and the Grizzlies embarrassed the Heat with a ridiculous array of dunks.  Also, the Heat lost to the Grizzlies.; Toronto Blue Jays Fans: The Blue jays traded Roy Halladay to Philadelphia this week for several highly rated minor league prospects.  Unfortunately, the list of compelling players currently on the Blue Jays major league roster includes, well, no one.;  The Pittsburgh Steelers: The reigning Super Bowl champions should never fail to score a touchdown against the Cleveland Browns.